he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
