try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize