Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
