hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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