i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
