found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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