This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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