normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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