after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize