I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
