she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize