He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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