I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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