no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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