Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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