please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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