dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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