never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
