I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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