How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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