I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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