I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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