Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
