i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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