Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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