I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
