brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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