Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
handjob tips. give me some.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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