If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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