so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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