vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my liver is dry heaving
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
