i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
