is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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