He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
