I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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