Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
