Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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