just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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