I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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