I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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