Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize