Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
