You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
