that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Come on in and take your pants off
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