Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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