just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
