I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
