Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
