Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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