I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
