HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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