Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize