Your tits are I can't wait for
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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