do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
