You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
