I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
