is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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