Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
