You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
